her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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