At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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