Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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