i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
