i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I had to cum in my sink.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
