I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
