You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
