The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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