I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
my vag is so smooth its legendary
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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