i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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