I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize