ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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