I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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