apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize