Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
