you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
