Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
