i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Randomize
