I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize