And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I think my moral compass just broke
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