Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize