My friends, they love my intelligence
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
