i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
