My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
