oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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