Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
