Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
