I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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