if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Randomize
