Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
