Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
