am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Is it penis luge time yet?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
