Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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