just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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