i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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