Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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