everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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