hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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