Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
