I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
