She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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