i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize