He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
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Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
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