Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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