She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
