the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
