another moral hangover. fuck.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize