May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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