Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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