remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
