She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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