Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
