do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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