On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
